I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
