That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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