It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
