id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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