My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize