S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
