So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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