ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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