had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
