I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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