so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
