She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
