so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
