I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Pants are for mortals
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
