a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize