I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
They have beer where we have blood.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
