Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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