she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
