I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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