thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
