rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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