we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
