ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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