I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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