i can't believe i had my finger in that
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
