I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just high enough for therapy.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
