I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
