Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
