On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
