I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
