is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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