his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
my liver is dry heaving
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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