i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
