I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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