): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
