what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm bleeding and have questions
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
