it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just puked most of my soul out..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
