I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
