At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize