All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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