This dress was meant to end up on your floor
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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