OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
