I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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