The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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