wanna go halves on a baby?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
