The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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