Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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