somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We're too hungover to prance.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
