If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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