Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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