Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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