I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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