i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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