I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
