; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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