i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
