ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
