You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
