we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
